Analysis (Services and Self)

Koan Bremner's view on life as a database and data warehouse professional / addict and non-genetic woman

Saturday, October 16, 2004

The past is another country

Reading about my colleague Brad's experiences when he attended a school reunion led me to think about my own past.

Of the people I was at school with, I keep in regular contact with exactly one. Of the people I was at university with, I keep in occasional contact with four or five. And workmates at former employers? Maybe half a dozen, including three whom I'd rate amongst my closest friends. Why so few?

Actually, I don't think that's particularly low. I've moved around pretty extensively over the years, in terms of where I've worked and lived, and have had various email addresses and telephone numbers, most of which are now defunct, so it's not particularly surprising that I don't get too many spontaneous contacts from the past. I don't recall ever making a conscious decision *not* to contact someone again; life moves on,that's all, mine and theirs. And as I've said to others (when asked why I don't send many Christmas cards, for example), communication is a two way street.

Maybe I've been less focused than others on keeping touch with people from my past because there are significant elements of my life I'm in the process of changing! ;-) Even so, I'm not making any attempt to deny or rewrite my past. Some transgendered folks who transition make a conscious decision to build an entirely new identity, breaking all links with their past, and trying to live as if they've always been as they are now. That's fine, and I can understand why some would want to take that approach (sometimes referred to as going "deep stealth") but it's not right for me. My view is that as time progresses, people I meet for the first time will have less and less cause to ask themselves if there's something "different" about Koan; and even if they work it out, it's no biggie to me.

Which means that I see no problem with giving friends and acquaintances from my past life the opportunity to catch up with me, if they choose to. Among other things, my college at university is very keen to keep in touch with former students (we are "Non-Resident Members" of the College, and retain use of many of the facilities for life) so I've decided to add my email address and URL for this blog to their directory, and see who (if anyone) gets in touch.

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