"If there is one thing that I have learned from all I've been through, it's that you only regret the things that you *didn't* do"

So it's Christmas Day and I'm spending it (by choice) alone; and as I've mentioned previously, it isn't my favourite day of the year. However, as a little treat, I decided earlier in the week that I would spend it by having a long walk in the New Forest and then watch the newly-released four hour extended cut of "The Return of the King" on DVD. So, Wednesday evening when I bought my groceries for the weekend, I picked up a copy of the DVD.

I'm a sucker for the process of film-making; the minutiae of how a Director's vision is translated into what appears on the screen. The extended editions of the three "Lord of the Rings" films are a treat for this, as each comes with two full DVDs of additional features covering just such detail. So, while planning to watch the film itself today, between Wednesday evening and this morning I have watched the extra features. And, right at the end of the last disk is a feature about Cameron Duncan, a young New Zealand film maker whom Peter Jackson (Director of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy of films) had known. I say "had known", for Cameron Duncan has now died from cancer at a tragically young age.

Now, I think it's a tragedy that anybody dies young; but what struck me so much about this feature (and Cameron's short films and TV advertisements which are included on the DVD) is just how insightful a person Cameron obviously was. I am not the slightest bit ashamed to say that I have cried a bucket in the last hour, during and after watching this documentary piece about him, and most particularly after watching those examples of his work. I certainly wasn't expecting this on this particular Christmas Day; what a welcome circumstance.

The last of the short films, called "Strike Zone" (made just weeks before he died) reflects his absolute love of the sport of softball, and includes the line which is the title of this post. I cannot agree more strongly with that line. Whenever I die, I do not want to die burdened with such regret; and I genuinely feel that, having resolved to pursue the path of social, surgical and legal transition to womanhood (for right and valid reasons) at this moment in time I could die without regret. Was I expecting to realise that today? No. A young New Zealand film maker has today given me a gift of realisation which I resolve to honour. I spent £23.99 on Wednesday evening to buy hours of viewing pleasure which I will watch repeatedly over the months and years to come; and in the process I bought a piece of emotional insight that is worth many more times the purchase price. I haven't even watched the main film yet and I feel enriched by the purchase.

In the final line of Strikezone Cameron says: "The one thing I don't want to be is to be forgotten and I think I've done a pretty good job of that."

[Via the New Zealand Herald]

Somehow I think you've left your mark, Cameron; certainly on me. Rest in peace.

This blog has been migrated to new software on a different server (http://www.multidimensional.me.uk) and comments on this post on *this* blog are now closed. All existing comments have been copied to the equivalent post on the new blog. If you still wish to comment on this post, please use the equivalent post at: http://www.multidimensional.me.uk/